Monday, July 10, 2006

First Date Blunders, aka A Booby In Hand Is Worth More Than Two In The...


What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal.
~Albert Pine

The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.
~Flannery O'Connor


1. Billy ~James Blunt
2. Move Along ~All American Rejects
3. Fall At Your Feet ~James Blunt
4. Never Gonna Be The Same ~Sean Paul
5. Where Is My Mind ~James Blunt

I have been on a bunch of first dates in my life, some great, most so-so. There are a lot of determining factors to what makes a great first date possible at the outset. Mutual attraction, setting, alcohol consumed, etc.. So usually some where you can talk and get to know someone a little bit deeper is a good choice, but sometimes a wild crazy bar is a good choice too. I've never really been fixed up by anyone, let alone a family member, and usually don't go on absolutely blind dates. But what the hell I gave it a shot anyway. I met my date in Baltimore at a bar called HOWL AT THE MOON. A really fun, loud, crazy place, with dueling pianos, lots of bachlorette parties, birthdays, and a bunch of rowdies. Not the best, for this particular date. Conversation was a little difficult, but still I was charming and witty when I could be. After a few drinks, I suggest we get out there, I thought maybe to talk somewhere, walk around, whatever. Date goes to the bathroom before we head out. As soon as she leaves one of the middle aged women (aka a Cougar) at the table behind me pulls up a chair and tries to talk to me. I was reading a text message my buddy had sent earlier, and not really paying attention. I another one of the Cougars yell something about her boobies needing to be touched, but paid no mind. Next thing I know my hand/arm is being twisted behind me and shoved on to a booby. I'm not even sure what this lady looked like as my back was to her. So admittedly I gave a few squeezes, it's a boob what else are you supposed to do? But just as my hand is on said booby who walks back to the table but my date!!! OOOOOOPS!!!!

I tried to explain what happened, that I was the victim of sexual assault, not sure she believed me. But as BK del Palisades said, even if the date didn't go great I got strange boobies in my hand and a funny story! And who can't appreciate that?


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