A Friend for Life Will Piss In a Britta For You
DAILY QUOTES
(FUNNY JEW EDITION)
A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
~Rodney Dangerfield
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
~Mel Brooks
Jeremy Grey Says:
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HOW I KNOW MY FRIENDS ARE THE GREATEST!!!
1. When Nard (that's a nickname for someone, not a reference to my own body parts) got me arrested they pissed in his personal Britta and pooped in his bed.
(Possible later post to detail the whole story.)
2. When I fell in to the water at Gilligan's Pier they bought me a
Blaze Orange Sleeveless T-Shirt.
3. They call me out on my bullshit.
4. If we have an argument it's done with and forgotten by the next day.
5. They scream, "Hey I'm just tryin to get Sammy laid!" as I'm spitting game to someone.
6. They now believe that I want/am trying to be a children's book author so that when I tell someone else at a charity event they don't spit their drink out and laugh uncontrollably.
7. They make up great nicknames for me.
8. They listen to me gripe about the same shit for months.
4. If we have an argument it's done with and forgotten by the next day.
5. They scream, "Hey I'm just tryin to get Sammy laid!" as I'm spitting game to someone.
6. They now believe that I want/am trying to be a children's book author so that when I tell someone else at a charity event they don't spit their drink out and laugh uncontrollably.
7. They make up great nicknames for me.
8. They listen to me gripe about the same shit for months.
9. They introduced me to NASCAR my burnin' rubber, deafening engine roaring, stinky exhaust fumed mistress.
10. They buy me Smoothie King after fixing their flat tire.
11. They keep me in Fantasy Football Leagues even though I rarely pay on time and I insist on picking rookie wide receivers.
12. They introduce me to new movies, foods, music, and experiences.
12. They introduce me to new movies, foods, music, and experiences.
13. They let me gloat for the appropriate amount of time after the
STEELERS WON THE SUPERBOWL!!!!!
(Which coincidentally is until they are eliminated form the possibility of winning this years SuperBowl!)
STEELERS WON THE SUPERBOWL!!!!!
(Which coincidentally is until they are eliminated form the possibility of winning this years SuperBowl!)
9 Comments:
friends don't let friends watch Nascar.
but pissing in a Brita? now that's funny!
Yeah well, these are friends I wouldn't wanna cross so...
Why everyone gotta be down on NASCAR, I done told y'all it fun. Dang, gimmie a cold beer, fast cars, fast women, and we set, shooo, I tell you what, you do the math.
you mean shitty beer, rednecks, and whores, don't you?
btw- happy hour. pauli moto's. friday 5pm. be there. you owe me sushi. :-)
Yes I do to both of your last comments, yes I do.
No...good friends change stranded friends flat tires!!!
Ummm, isn't that kinda what I said? I would do it fo nuthin' but Smoothie King was calling my name. Not a list about why I'm a good friend. That would be too long to post.
Nice idea with this site its better than most of the rubbish I come across.
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