Sunday, February 24, 2008

Falling Down


Learn to value yourself, which means: to fight for your happiness.
~Ayn Rand

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.
~Marcel Proust

And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and the sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
~Kahlil Gibran


1. Falling Down ~Duran Duran
2. I'm On Fire ~Bruce Springsteen
3. Out Of My Mind ~James Blunt
4. Gone ~Kanye West f. COnsequence & Cam'Ron
5. Nothing Compares To You ~Sinead O'Connor
6. The Only Living Boy In New York ~Simon & Garfunkel
7. No Ones Gonna Love You ~Band Of Horses
8. Take Em' Away ~OCMS
9. Nadie ~Prima J (Spanish cover of No One by Alicia Keys)
10. Hide And Seek ~Imogen Heap

I've been couped up in the house since Wednesday afternoon with some mix of bronchial infection and the flu. With my time I have worked from home, watched so many movies I can't remember exactly which ones I've watched, cleaned house, laid on the couch, took the plunge in to Facebook, and thought that Aubrey T. from the Netflix commercial is cutie (she just looks ready to snuggle up to a movie).

I have been filled with regret and second guessing for over a week now. People tell me I shouldn't be, but I wouldn't be human if I wasn't. At the same time if I didn't do what I now regret I wouldn't be me. That's the eternal battle I suppose, sacrifice better judgment to be true to yourself...or live with different regrets. I suppose I've prepared myself for this eventuality among others, either way regret seemed to be involved.

PS I refuse to insert any line from any musical about AIDS and urban life here.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Straight Through the Valley of Rookie Potential

You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not.
~Jodi Picoult

A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.
~Mahatma Gandhi

Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
~Victor Hugo

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love.
~Margaret Atwood

If you continually give, you will continually have.


1. Afraid ~Nelly Furtado
2. Tree Hugger ~Antsy Pants
3. Unconditional ~The Bravery
4. A Whiter Shade of Pale ~Procol Harum
5. Here I Am (Come And Take Me) ~ Al Green
6. I'm Still Waiting ~Bob Marley
7. Five-O ~James
8. The People ~Common
9. Desire ~Pharoahe Monch
10. Mary Jane Shoes ~Fergie

One good clue to who I am and the way I operate in this world can be found in the way I play strategy games or even fantasy football. I guess I give this information away at the risk of losing a few games of Risk or Gin Rummy...but sometimes risking it all is worth the payoff. Strategy games often require thinking ahead and finesse...which does not often blend well with my charge full-steam-ahead...hope one of my redcoats makes it through the middle of the valley that has highly skilled Mohawk Indian warriors flanking either side of the "funnel" ala the beautiful but violent scene from Michael Mann's Last of the Mohicans style. I am also known for drafting rookie wide receivers (sometimes up to 5 rounds earlier than they should be picked) in my fantasy football league. Some might say what's wrong with that? Let me count the ways first then I'll explain what my thinking is...
Rookie wide receivers are often a bad pick in fantasy football because: they hardly ever start, when they do their production is usually limited, and after the top 5 receivers it's pretty much a crap shoot.
So why do I do it?
Because it would be like hitting the lottery, that rookie wide receiver is nothing but pure potential. Its almost like throwing water balloons from the 3 stories might miss your target a couple of times, but when you do nail that noggin square on the ensuing hilarity is a real high. And that' s what I'm looking for that high of splashing my fantasy league with the liquid potential of my rook WR.
And that's my life I charge ahead full steam on...I know no finesse and I bet on potential... I want one of crazy risks to pan out and drench my life in the realization of pure potential...pure payoff, and happiness.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Daven Crush


When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
~Ernest Hemingway

Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.
~Bob Dylan

Love Sonnet XVII

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

~Pablo Neruda


1. Pink & Blue ~Andre 3000
2. No Letting Go ~Wayne Wonder
3. Past The Point of Rescue ~Hal Ketchum
4. Change ~Deftones
5. Estoy Aqui ~Shakira
6. The People ~Common
7. Fall On My Knees ~OCMS
8. No Ordinary Love ~Sade
9. Wagon Wheel ~OCMS
10. No One ~Alicia Keys

How can I do dishes when Karate Kid is on amc? Grainy, chock full o' cliches, great acting (I'm serious), and classic 80's plot line...tell me how can I go do laundry or dishes when a classic of my era is on? If you know me at all, you know how this movie speaks to me and my religion of love.

I flagellate with rejection, obtain Nirvana in first kisses, and daven crush.